KIDS

 

Can kids be in love?

One of my friends who studies human behavior seems to think so. He  told me that everyone makes a connection. He went ahead to tell me that kids can fall in love, kids as old as a month old. (I thought him insane). It is also the reason why a baby will cry when some people hold them and will cry not when some other people do even when they are total strangers. Kids too can fall in love, it’s just that they won’t know that they are in love or will not be able to distinguish that feeling clearly. They too can get attracted to people and can select out the people they like. He gave me a rather perfect example which I found plausible but perverted. This is what he told me, no he asked actually.

“Have you ever found little kids coming from school, girls especially and then one of them takes an interest in you and starts playing around you or doing some things that are bound to make you notice her?”

“But they are kids, and that’s what kids do. Play!” I answer back

“Were they playing with everyone or were they playing with you?”

I shut my mouth.

I live in a neighborhood that is rife with kids, noisy little burgers. There is something that totally scared me, picture kids who are less than three years old. A group of them, you are passing and then suddenly one runs up to you holds your hand and says UNCLE! At the same time looking at you with those innocent baby eyes and smiling, and the other whole lot starts shouting uncle uncle in mirth.  First off, I almost had a heart attack, am the first born at home and none of my siblings has an offspring I know off, secondly am not a baby person. I can stand babies only when everyone is oooing and aaaing around them and they are in someone’s else hands and the moment they start bawling I bolt for the nearest exit. So I was at a loss. To make matters worse, the mothers were standing a short distance away doing what idle women do best. Gossip. I had to part with a few shilling for sweets. I have become bosom buddies with those kids since then. Damn! Kumbe kids can be fun?

I know this couple, it’s not really a couple but to me they are. It’s a five year old couple. As in five year olds who are a couple. They do everything together. Walk together, hold hands, share everything, watch TV together, u could think they are twins but nay, just friends from the same neighborhood. I pray they grow up just like that. That life does not get in the way and screw up everything for them as it does the rest of the world. Just imagine innocent looking kids spending almost every minute of their lives together, and the parents know about it and are okay with it.

I have seen a girl wipe boys tears with her sweater. And hold him and comfort him like you could comfort a baby. And they were mere babies.  And I thought to myself, that is caring!

Then again I have seen mean kids. So out-rightly mean you wonder where they picked it up from. There is a game kids play, three players, two at the end, one in the middle, a ball is flung back and forth between two, the one in the middle tries as much as possible not to get hit. I saw one get hit and she walked right up to the one who had thrown the ball that hit her and push her violently into the ground. I was dumbfounded! Why for God’s sake why? It’s part of the game, right? 

MGMT - KIDS 

CAMPUS RELATIONSHIPS
Show me a campus student who hasn’t been in a relationship and I will show you a saint!
Some say it is a passing phase in our formative years. Having a relationship in campus is as normal as taking a cup of tea. Anyone who doesn’t belong to this category is more often than not labeled as a social pariah. Everybody is dating, student verses student, students and lectures, students and working class people. All these comprise of the dating bracket in campus. Why do people enter into these relationships in campus?
Society bestows standards by which people conduct themselves and live in, campus is a society and as such there are rules. Perhaps the paramount reason why students get into campus relationships is to fit in. join first year, totally green and realize that your superiors are all in relationships, so it is the in thing, why not join the bandwagon? Before long you are neck deep in it, you are breaking hearts left right, you heart is being broken and you are in the system. Thus you now belong. Everybody is doing it, why not me? This is the question that comes to everyone’s lips when the question of why they are in relationships is posed.
Most campus relationships are based on sex. Students get into such relationships basically for sex. In never hurts anyone because they understand that it is just for a while. Students have managed to work out a system that is commonly referred to as “friends with benefits” the benefits here being sex. Most of us did our high school in public boarding school and never got the chance to explore our sexuality. Campus offers that opportunity where you can engage and explore these avenues. There is no parental supervision or societical judges. It is campus. Everyone is having a roll in the hay. This is amid the numerous abstinence campaigns by those labeled as :holier than though activists in campus” am not by any chance glorifying sexual relations, am just pointing out the obvious and calling a spade a spade! Not everyone is doing it though. One spoilt apple does not spoil the whole basket. At least one or two will escape the rot.
There are some relationships that are based purely on favors. Often, these kinds of relationships are practiced by ladies. It also involves sex. This is not to say that men are innocent for there are a few practitioners. Lectures and staff are the other party players here too. At times students just offer themselves yet at times it is the lectures who as for those “favors’ sex for better marks and other educational favors that can be offered in campus.
Some relationships are about finances. Man can never be equal in terms of finances. There are students who come from well to do families and have the capabilities of maintaining a certain lifestyle. Other students want to ape this but lack the means. They resort to other means, like dating sugar daddies and sugar mommies. Students who engage in these usually have boyfriends and girlfriends their own age and still keep sugar daddies. The sugar daddy if the finances and when they need emotional attachment, the boyfriend or girlfriend comes into play.
Then there is the category that practices real love, there is that couple who show up together everywhere, live together and are obviously in love. These kinds of relationships are based on honest feeling and attachment to each other. They are bound to blossom into fruitful marriages if kept on. Such couples are usually known around campus and accorded the respect they deserve. Nobody messes with them.
Most relations in campus don’t last though, sadly! The expression “untill holidays do us apart” comes into play. Students stay together until when they go for their long holidays and unless they come from the same area back at home, the relationships tend to break apart. The coming of a new academic year sees some pick up from where they left or look for new partners. It is very rare to be in campus and just have a relationship with just one person, the average number is usually three by the time you are completing campus. And those are the good ones.
Can campus students really exist without relationships, without the sex and just concentrate on learning? No! it would be a lie. In traditional African society, the age at which people join campus could have been the prime age for marriage. In modern society, that is when most youth are discovering their potential, what they can do and what they cannot do. It is also around this age that most of them are broaching the idea of marriage. Denying them the opportunity to date (interact) will rob them of an experience that will come in handy when they decide to settle down. So yeah, let them find out for themselves what is like, let them break a few hearts, let them have their hearts broken for when the right time comes, they will be wiser.

OF MAIDENS AND FLOWERS

WHAT BECAME OF LOVE?

Whatever happened to giving ladies flowers? What became of the cliche and novelty of romance? What became of a symbol so lovely and fragrant as to sway hearts? Perhaps time caught on? Perhaps times a changing? It is sad that the old conventions are dying away, Replaced by tokens that seem so empty and plastic. Plastic in the literal sense, think ATM cards and plastic money. Think electronic gadgets and car keys. The competition to outdo each other in pleasing a maiden these lies with the amount of cash one has to spend to get the attention of a lady. And sadly most of these tokens are without meaning

What became of the days when ladies got swept off their feet by gallantry and a broad chest and sinewy arms? When the sign of a man’s rippling muscles could make ladies flock to him? What became of the ruggedness that screamed MAN! The neo modern man is a joke. I don’t want to seem cynical when I argue this point, but really? Manicures, pedicures, complicated hair products that could put a models dressing table to shame, and the dressing, what the hell are men wearing these days? Yellow skinny pants really?

Love has lost its meaning; it has been replaced by lust and necessity. Necessity because people are getting into relationships to satisfy society. Not because they want to but because they have to. Because society expects that of them and they do not want to be outcasts. Funny how society divides people. Our forefathers must be turning in their graves at the amount of sex people are having these days. Almost every object in the 21^st century is portrayed sexually. sex is no longer that holy act that was meant for bed chambers and only adults. 12 year olds can school you about sex these days. Heck there are even 9 year old getting pregnant.

Since this was about maidens and flowers let’s go back to that, shall we? Girls love flowers, am yet to see a girl who will frown at a flower that has been presented as a gift to her. Unless of course she is allergic to pollen and she starts sneezing the moment you present the flowers to her. That could be downright bad. Most of the ‘trendy’ (do that quote sign with your fingers) flowers if I may use that word are roses. This flower has been used so much for so long that variations on its presentation has come up. Which brings me to the question, who coins these things? A red rose to mean…, a pink…, a white…, the number of roses you present someone also have a significant meaning, like being sorry, asking for ones hand in marriage, asking to be engaged, proclaiming your love… blah blah. Now the Kenyan man has no idea what any of those symbols mean. To him a rose is acts a symbol of proclaiming love. He cares not for the color or the number unless he has an aesthetical eye or he is a stickler to detail.  I saw a picture of a green rose, with a water drop hanging on its base. It was just something I stumbled upon on the internet. Does a green rose exist in real life? I was too lazy to google that shit at that moment.   

A little piece of my mind, there are so many flowers out there. It doesn’t have to be bought in a flower shop for it to represent what its meant to. Since it’s a symbol, even that little beautiful shrub that grows by your gate could suffice.   

 snow patrol | just say yes

AN ODE TO NAIROBI

We upcountry folk always hear the scariest stories about Nairobi. We hear of muggers, traffic jams, the crowds and of how expensive it is to live in Nairobi. The painted picture is usually gory in which makes us see only what we want to see.
 No one mentions that it a beautiful town with beautiful people. No one tells you of the magnificent grandeur of The KICC, that is one beautiful building. They always neglect to mention how the skyline looks at night to someone who had never seen so many lights before; Its hypnotic! Not to waste too many words trying to describe it! No one mentions the Heroes of Independence standing proud in monument! Dedan Kimathi,Tom mboya, All standing in proud defiance. All town, other statues stand guard, like those home guards on (I forget the street's name)... and the others.
There is a hidden place called Agha khan walk, I can never seem to find it though, I get lost every time. But I love sitting there! Why didn't anyone ever tell me how peaceful and quiet it is just be  sitting there, a stone throw distance away from the madness that is Kencom bus station?
Did I mention I love food? And the number of fast food joints in Nairobi to a guy who comes from upcountry is mind boggling. Every street u walk down has its own aromas calling to you. Not to mention the number of restaurants available all over the city. You can never find a burger upcountry, and then there it is, fat and succulent, you bite of a big chunk and chew slowly, an explosion of bliss shocks your taste buds. You pause and sigh in obvious pleasure, then you continue to chew, you add some ketchup to the remaining burger. If the first bite was bliss, this is better than that.
Have you visited Uhuru park on a cold June morning just for the thrill of it? Looked at the ponds, contemplated taking one if the boats out? Started feeding biscuits to those little adorable fish that come up grab and disappear?
Lets go downtown, shall we? Meja Mwangi has a novel called "Going Down River Road". I found myself on Grogan road, Someone once told me if you want motor spare parts that's the place to go, and I wanted to go to Ngara and visualize how Ben lived. A friend bought me soup in some shady hotel in Nyamakima. The soup was whitish! I dint like it but I drank it anyway. Down to the last drop. I stood at the fire-station and envisioned it in black and white, from a newspaper mug shot I'd seen. Then I went down river road, I dint get robbed, which was disappointing.  further down towards Jack and Jill. It no longer stands but I think that name will carry on forever! There it ended.
 I bade Ben Goodbye and went into Muthurwa. They were right though. It stinks! And everywhere you pass someone is trying to grab your arm forcefully in an attempt to convince you to buy their wares!The human traffic is stifling. Not to forget the innumerable number of mugger looking types who idle there. Did you know that as bogus as the market looked, a whooping 700 million was used to construct it? Or that the initial plan included a hospital, a banking hall and a police post?
Out to feel what a Nairobian faces everyday other waking day I got stuck in traffic for an hour and a half, just sweating it and wondering how much time was lost thus daily. It also reminded me of that No stress Nivea advert, (and I gotta try that perfume by the way)  . Which reminds me, the stretch between Jogoo road roundabout to Muthurwa is never without jam, Never have I used it and found traffic moving, its always bumper and bumper. On that part they were right.
I continue to get lost almost daily as I explore our Kenyan capital. All this is without regrets to say the least for I embrace the men do not ask for directions thing. Stop looking at me like that. Google maps on my Huawei Ideos seems to get me lost all the time too. The other day as I was coming from work, riding the company bus, I passed my stop and spent the better part of the evening touring Eastland. I alighted at my stop on the return trip and I have to admit I was impressed by the conversation the driver was having with the guys who work night duty. Those who were riding the bus back that is.
This is not a story about Nairobi.
This is an ode to Nairobi.